are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
