Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
