it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Panties = found
Randomize
