through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
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Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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