i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.