He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
