My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
