I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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