Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
