My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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