I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
