Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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