he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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