Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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