a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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