Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize