He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
