is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
