Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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