i used baking grease as lip gloss
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
