woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
