He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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