I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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