I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize