Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
