Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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