They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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