What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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