3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
