Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
