i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
