Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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