don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
