..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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