So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
