So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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