barbara walters just said penis...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
