Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
