His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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