can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
