this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and she was petting her beer can
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
