You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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