So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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