would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
