he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we're making bets on your personal life
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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