Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize