She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
