But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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