My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
