The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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