Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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