Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
