i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
