I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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