Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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